Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Crack Cocaine is Bad for Puppies.

Consider this a Public Service Announcement: 

Puppies and crack do not mix. If you feel your puppy may be on crack, seek medical attention- for yourself, because you most likely have puncture holes and other signs of abuse which require treatment. You also may need to find a qualified handyman to fix the damage no doubt caused to your home and other worldly goods by your crack-infused puppy.  Don't bother trying to learn where the crack came from as addicts are very evasive; it is unlikely you will ever get a straight answer. And the puppy probably ate the evidence anyways. Besides, once the crack reaches their brain it is too late. 

You've got a crack puppy. All you can do is pray.

So yeah, puppy came out of her shell. And with that brought quite the onslaught of terror. 

I mean that in a good way. 

She started out not too interested in toys. Now everything is a toy. The Dog's tail is a spectacular toy.  So is my hair. And socks. Who cares if they still have feet in them? 

Observe- Crack Baby:

We gave up trying to stop her and made her a sock toy (Leader = enabler?). Which she loves. Along with all the other toys. I have a video of her manically bounding from toy to toy squealing like a stuck pig but thought that was overkill. We already know she is on crack, I don't suppose I have to impress upon you that point any further. 

MY TOYS. Preparing to procure another in 3, 2, 1...
Crack puppies can appear innocent at times. However, this typically just means they are carefully plotting their next big score. 
Yup... just hanging out being cute...

Fooled you! My toy now too! 
Luckily, crack puppies are similar to meth puppies in that they crash pretty hard when the juice burns off. 
Dreaming of her next fix, I am sure.
The Dog is a fine outstanding citizen who would never do drugs. She would however facilitate the sale of one particular crack puppy on the black market. 
IDEA! What's the number for the sex traffickers in Sweden? 
I'm certainly glad she has made herself at home. 

But did she have to make our home a crack den? 


  1. MUST KILL evil sock!!! Didn't you know, socks were evil???
    HA HA HA, welcome to puppyhood.

  2. Caution... all towels hanging from the oven handle are fair game!! I learned that lesson early on. She is adorable in all her crack-ness!!