Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Friendship Bread: Best for Enemies.

So have you heard about this Amish Friendship Bread thing? I hadn't.  But when my so-called friend from work described it, I was intrigued.  

Apparently, it's a chain letter in the form of bread. I know, weird, riiiigggghhht? 

You get a 'starter' compound from a so-called friend from work and then spend 10 days stirring and adding to the starter (which is left on the counter, but there is milk in it??) and then you scoop out some portions which are new starters that you are supposed to give to your friends. You take the rest, add a bunch of things and ta-da! bread. Then your friends start the cycle anew. 

Like I said, I was intrigued. 

I said I would take a starter and give it a go. 

Little did I know, my so-called friend was trying to kill me.  

10 days I spent stirring and adding and not questioning the health implications of 10 day old counter milk. (Really, perhaps the milk bit was the first sign she was trying to kill me...)

On the 10th day, I was to bake my bread. Note the following: Recipe followed exactly. Loaf pans under-filled to allow for baking expansion.  Essentially, ideal set up for the perfect bread. Twenty minutes into cooking, it smelled of heaven. It WAS the perfect bread.

Oh, yeah, until it exploded. 

So there I was with bread goo all over the oven.  The oven which then caught fire a little bit. I tried to scrape the burned bits off the bottom and keep the rest cooking, but the pans just kept overflowing and adding more bits to the bottom to be burned. Then my oven filled with black smoke. I figured the bread probably would taste like charcoal, so I chucked everything. Then my kitchen filled with black smoke. Then my first floor...

You may be thinking, gee, all that fire and smoke and no smoke alarms sounding?  And you would be wrong. The smoke alarm AND home security thingey were both screaming at me intermittently for about one hour. One hour spent scraping...fanning...entering silence codes...running upstairs...entering another code...repeating this cycle over and over again.  

And now, my characteristic loose tie to dogs thus rendering this worthy of posting on the dog blog: 

Even the monthly test 'bleep' from the security system is enough to turn The Dog into a puddle. And The Pup has yet to experience a full blown alarm. Imagine a solid hour of screeching with two squirrely pets. Suffice it to say, they were not happy. Extra concentrated doses of squirrely. The Pup eventually begged to be let into her kennel. The Dog begged to be allowed in the closet.  Neither appeared again for some time. 

My so-called friend insists that no one ELSE had a problem with the starter she handed out. However this just serves as further evidence that she was somehow trying to kill ME in particular. 

As for my starters, I hid them in the back of the freezer. I couldn't think of anyone I dislike enough to impart them on. 
Anyways, despite all that fire, smoke, and DOOM life goes on.

Too, too quickly. 
I cannot believe how fast The Pup is growing up.  

To give you a place of reference...
The Pup, 9 weeks.
Now, just LOOK at her!!! She is a big girl. All adulty looking and everything, she even sits still for pictures on a regular basis now. 
I luv how well she matches the kitchen decor...
Pensively posing. Not The Dog tho, she just wants the toy.
Sigh. Gives me happy/sad feelings. I like that she is not so breakable anymore. I like that I can start DOING stuff with her more. I like that she is slowly but surely becoming normal and not being her alter ego Crack Puppy on a full time basis.  It's nice not living with a completely feral beast. 

But still... does she have to grow up so quickly?? Squishy baby stage doesn't last quite long enough if you ask me. 

Though I am REALLY proud of her for not climbing in the dishwasher ONCE last night. 

I guess there really are perks. 

To close, a few of our favorite things, to prove that we are keeping busy here. 

Expert container cleaning squad at work.
Always ready with a toy offering to the Fun Gods


  1. I know, they grow up way too fast. Seems like only yesterday I picked up my little Riot with floppy ears. And now, ... she'll be turning two in just three months. No fair :-(
    Well the only good thing of her growing up is that she gets more snuggly. I guess I'll accept that compromise.

    He he, I have a cleaning dude too. Well, more like a recycler. Blink cleans out all the plastic containers and then happily squishes them too to minimize space in the recycling bin. :-)

  2. HARRY POTTER!!!!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!!

    And your friend is trying to kill you...I have gotten friendship worked out just fine, just sayin' :)

  3. Yeah...I've never had any trouble with friendship bread either, but you've got to wonder how healthy it is to eat something that has been sitting out on your cupboard for over a week.

    Feeling your (and your dogs) pain on the smoke alarm deal. My kitchen has a badly placed alarm right near the stove. Some steam rises off a boiling pot and the darn thing goes off, then the whole house goes off, as they are all connected. My dogs hide when I go near the stove now. Nice.

  4. Here I thought you were going to say that your friend is trying to kill you by making you fat as a house -- Because that's the effect that Amish Friendship Bread has on most people. It is sooooooo good. Addictingly good. BTW, don't ever add chocolate chips to it. Because then you will sit and eat the entire loaf in one sitting.

    We called it a cult in my family. It went on for a very long time because nobody could stand to throw the starter in the trash. After everyone gained about 20 lbs, we finally got sick of it. It was still hard to throw out the starter.

  5. Friendship Bread... who knew?? Everyone but me, I guess! Turns out- I am the last to ever hear about this thing. Too bad I didn't even get to eat any!!!