Monday, June 4, 2012

5 is the number of grace

I’m not really religious, but there are some who say that the number 5 is the number of grace.

Call me Saved- I’m a believer.
The Dog turned 5 last Thursday.  She's 5 now… and she is grace.

Grace is refinement, beauty and elegance. The light in her has somehow, miraculously, turned on. She is all these things now, illuminating from the inside for everyone to see.

Or maybe just for me.  But that’s ok.  It’s enough for me to know it’s there.
I’m feeling so…reverent of my little Dog today. If you couldn’t tell.

Yes, we had a show over the weekend. All things always come down to this. We train, we try, and will it pay off? Will the elusive Secret Dog come out to play? Will she stay with me? Is this fun- for me, her?  How will THIS weekend be remembered?  Ah- perfect. Perfect weather, perfect friends, just everything feeling really GOOD.   For once I can say it went down in way I want to remember, that I wish I could replay but not to redo, just to relive.  

So, so not a weekend where we qualified in everything or won everything or had the best time every run.  Flaws, yep. It happens. There is an element of luck, and in particular, Snookers was not in line for us. Someone else’s weekend to shine there.  We had our moments elsewhere and those are the moments I’m holding on to right now. 

My little bit of fluff, my baby bird.  She let go. I let go. Flight. Finally, finally, the elusive thing (things?) I’ve been searching for to complete US, our little team, may be really found.  I cannot convey properly how very happy I am to run my dog and have it be MY dog, the one I spend all the time with at home. Happy girl, bursting to go.  And to have that again and again and again.  Each run, exactly where and when I expect her to be. Being able to push not pull, trust not question, demand not ask.  This is the way I planned it and it worked.

I could ask, how long will I have this?  Could it go away? But I won’t.  We can, so we will. Simple as that, this will continue. It’s the new US. Awesome on demand.  Grand Prix bye? You got it. SACH Gold? Done, thanks. And then some. My head in the game, thinking of all the right things, not on what doesn’t matter. Thinking of everything and nothing, not THIS outcome or THAT last mistake. Enjoying every little move we make, because that’s where the connection is. In those little places, those tenths of a second that without it, it all goes wrong. But this time, it goes right.
I know sometimes I get hard to follow.  What it all means is that there was a plateau, and I couldn’t see our way up and onward, until now.  A plane was broken, and it’s a new existence. There will be new problems to solve; life is never perfect and neither is the Dog and neither am I. And there is that element of luck. It’s not always going to be ‘our day.’ But at this point, we might get a day. And that’s really all I wanted all along. 

No comments:

Post a Comment