Monday, May 6, 2013

Still Swingin'



Blink, blink, blink.

"Whaaa... What time is it? What MONTH is it??"

So ends a hibernation hiatus. 
You ever have that moment where you suddenly have what you wanted, after months and months of working to get it, and you're beyond happy- but then you immediately what?

Good question indeed.

Turns out this is a normal part of the goal life cycle but boy, did I ever get stuck in that 'now what' phase.

So I slept on it. All winter.

That was a long winter.
It wasn't all an inability to pick new goals for training and trialing. There was an overall question of life and 'what now' to be examined. This is off-topic, but by way of explanation, after a year of relentless change- some happy, some heartbreaking- life in general needed more consideration and direction. Sometimes you need to step back from everything and assess. Hence agility furlough.
So now what, right? After all this time, what next?

For starters, I'm teaching the dogs how to leap frog each other. We are going to make it to the circus one of these days!

What I mean is, the world is ours. What's next is only limited by my imagination really. And my mind is now open.
I feel, finally, unencumbered by doubt. I have so much. I won't say I have enough- I never want to stop reaching- but just because you can do better doesn't mean what you do now is necessarily bad. 

Even in this tumultuous and unfocused state that we've been living in, I think we three have each strengthened as members of the team. Respite is a gift; for me, perspective. So much. For The Dog, physical rest, well deserved after years of non stop training and trialing. And The Pup gains maturity. For evidence I call on Happiness, Fun, Excitement, Connection- big checks next to each of these measures, presenting as high engagement at our last trial, practice, you name it. And now forward: desire. The feeling creeping in again. I want to do this, I want to succeed at this.

Perspective though. I want to succeed by MY measures. It's nothing without that. It's all for fun, there is literally nothing to lose. Even a loss can be a win. And a win means nothing without the 'A' game to back it up.  You can play to get on base, or you can swing for the fences and bring it all home.  At the end of the day, what will make YOU happiest? I'll keep swinging.

Doubt can stay in the dugout.

Our direction is forward.

No comments:

Post a Comment