Let’s get physical…

Oops, sorry, did I just get that song in your head?

HA!

So we are on Day 4 of THE REGIME. It wasn’t so bad to start (like, for Day 1), but I quickly realized that the makers of P90X have made 3 crucial errors in their assumptions of me, the Buyer:

1)      I am not a Viking. I have never been a Viking.  This involves a LOT of protein. And weight-lifting. Then more protein, and hey, how about some more weight-lifting?  So they have either assumed some Viking heritage or that I desire becoming a Viking. I want to be fit, but I have no need to wield an axe in battle after the 90 days are complete (if I even live to that point).  Maybe they will provide some lean muscle exercises as we progress?

2)      I work. I have a long commute. I have a dog who needs something daily and who is additionally signed up for more extracurricular activities than most children.  I teach classes. I show- a lot. I have the Boyfriend.  I have a gym membership that requires several monthly dates lest it double in cost. Clearly whoever devised THE REGIME assumes that I have or do nothing.  One hour to one and a half hour daily workouts, then you have to wait an hour after working out whilst your ‘recovery drink’ does its job (if you do not, you will pay…), then you have to make dinner from scratch. Oh, and lunch and breakfast too. To do this, one really needs to give themselves over for 90 days.

3)      (Despite all of the aforementioned details in #2) I am lazy. I love to decompress and do nothing. If I were an animal, I would be a cat.  Just four days and no couch time makes for a very cranky Project Leader.  I think the worst assumption is that I must be Jenny McCarthy or something.  I’m just not that peppy (at least not if I can’t fit in a nap).

But even with all my obstacles to overcome (thanks to the overly optimistic and overreaching creators) in order to complete THE REGIME I think this will become a very good thing. Loving the meals that we have to eat- though it really is hard to make everything, every meal.  But I am not missing the junk one bit, which says a lot since I am a crave/indulge type of person.  And I suppose I am getting by without naps. Maybe I will even gain energy and not want naps someday? 

I am feeling bad for The Dog though- she sits (in her snooty, “I have a ripped physique so Imma just gonna watch” manner) with her toy and waits fairly patiently each night while we flop around inexplicably. Then when we are lying on the floor dying from exhaustion and pulled muscles, she comes over and sits my chest and gently drops a toy in my face. Clearly this means “play time, human!” but we usually have to lame out on her for some time afterwards. I also have lamed out on table work for most of the week too. BUT we did get started on learning a ‘wrap’ command for turning tightly to the left around the jump post.  So at least we are doing some training.

"Yep- when you're done? Dis ball is goin' in yer FACE".

But we actually squeezed in a bona fide practice yesterday- not just basement practice. I was trying to deconstruct her DWs for most of our time. (I’m very proud of me for surviving all the runs back and forth and THE REGIME in the same night.)  I think I had some good realizations about why she sometimes leaps versus runs through the contact and when that will likely happen. So now that I think I get what is going on, I just have to find a way to fix it.  Very tempted to buy a ‘Hit-It’ contact trainer touch pad. The Dog is a clicker fiend- maybe that will finally bridge the gap of understanding so we can arrive at Continuity's Door? (And no, obviously I cannot just click, since my wrong clicks are probably part of why we are in this mess. My click privileges have been stripped.)

On a positive note- her Aframe is getting there. Last night- all perfect! Running through, head down, and very fast. (Although, she went Evel Knievel on me for the first one: LEAPT the apex and soared all the way over, landing all four feet in the yellow. I think she actually went “YEEHAW” over the top.)

Show this weekend. We will see if I broke her DW through my scientific studies- but it is AKC and their generous contact zone. It’s saved us before; it may do it again this weekend! That is, if I don’t become so buff that I can’t fit between the obstacles…